you tacky thing

Word Press should offer a feature called PostAlert. If a regular blogger suddenly stops posting with her usual frequency, a highly trained operator calls the blogger and inquires as to her mental health. Because, honestly, as crazy as I’ve been while keeping up with my writing, a precipitous break in my writing always indicates Serious Problems. And I have been having Serious Problems, of a very sedated and subtle sort.

So what have I been up to?

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If it’s consumer spending we need to stave off a recession, then by God, I will graciously accept my $1,000 tax refund and $600 stimulus rebate, and then immediately hand it over to a fine American-owned business.  For the greater good, I will buy a Mac Book. It’s my patriotic duty. 

*crying eagle with a flag in its mouth soars overhead*

About a month ago, I left the proprietary university I was working for, because my performance as an “admissions counselor” (a.k.a. college salesperson) was below average and the stress left me sobbing on weekends. I was constantly afraid of getting fired. The daily rejection involved in being lousy at sales was too much for me to handle. I needed something else, something better suited to my skills and less likely to push unpleasant emotional buttons. So I put in my notice — before I had another job lined up.

For a frantic few weeks, I sent out a half-dozen resumes a day. (more…)

… having a problem with your Dell computer, spending all day trying to fix it on your own because you’re pretty sure Dell tech support will tell you to fuck off once they hear about the system modifications you’ve made, banging your head against numerous walls, enlisting your middle-school boyfriend and offering him cookies and/or phone sex for his assistance, going through two hard-drive nukes, attempting to decipher unreadable readme files, finally realizing you need information from Dell after all to facilitate the repair method you’ve chosen, logging grudgingly on to Dell tech support chat with a very specific and cryptic question about your hardware specifications …

… and then having the Dell tech immediately realize what you’re on about and hand you a two-second fix for the problem you’ve spent all day trying to deal with on your own.

*flops gratefully onto couch and laughs at self*

And it is awesome.

Note that later in the evening, we added about half again as many people. There was rocking out, there was making out, there was vomiting, there was breaking glass, and there was a whole lot more that I wasn’t even aware of because I was already hammered by the time our first guests started showing up. Niiiiice.